A Note to Self
It's as simple as this, really:
- Wake beside your beloved.
- Take in the sky, the air, the atmosphere of the day.
- Eat fresh breads and eggs and yogurt.
- Sip hot tea or coffee or chocolat.
- Give something to the world, to our fellows: fellowship, even if only by way of a smile or a coin.
- Listen when someone speaks to you.
- Buy the fish if the body is craving fish.
- Invent dressing for the salad from the ingredients you have, whether or not they are the ingredients you want.
- Wash the dishes if you enjoy a clean sink. Feel the silk of the warm, soapy water over the hands. - Drink cafe au lait from a bowl if you desire cafe au lait. - Walk without running even when the sky bursts open with rain. - Buy a fresh baguette when the other is less than half a loaf.
- If the hairs on the floor start to distract you, sweep them.
- When there is dancing till dawn and you are loving the dance, then dance till dawn, even when there isn't a taxi or metro to return you home.
- Gaze. Gaze all day if it is a day for gazing.
- Finish the pot of honey knowing there is more honey.
- Cry when it comes time to leave, if you are sad about the leaving.
- Let it go, that the table is rocking, or positioned on a slant. No harm is coming of it, no harm done.
- Have another cup of tea.
- When the mood strikes to go out, go out.
- If there is a movie calling to you, see the movie.
- If a friend asks for counsel or simply an ear and you can give it generously and without regret, give it, wholeheartedly.
- Have a beer.
- Buy the 2000 St. Emilion--forget about the cost. As long as there is money there for spending, don't think about the money: enjoy it. It is a resource, not a fixture, not a piece of furniture.
- Adore the caressing, giving, receiving: surrender to it when it insists.
- Make beautiful, sweet, passionate love.
- Do it again.- Paint pictures with your eyes, with the help of your heart.- Sculpt what the hand caresses. Let the fingers record the measurements.
- Rely on the infinite supply the soul willingly provides.
- Hug--as often as you can accomplish it.
- Give way. Give way to the air, the rain, the sunset, the dawn, the stirrings of the heart, the curiosities of the mind, the cravings of the body.
- Watch, from above, the tops of the raindrops: watch them fall.
- Be willing, ready to be amused by the skateboard's painting twin black ribbons perfectly, uniformly on the rain-spotted sidewalk.
- Turn up the heat if you're cold.
- Pat the dog.
- Love the cat.
- Buy the good tuna.
- Sing! For God's sake, sing. Don't let a day go by without singing.
- Take the sun on your skin, even if only briefly, and the rain upon the tongue, if only because you haven't, ever.
- Find the perfume or cologne that was formulated expressly for you, the scent that is unquestionably yours.
- Speak with your eyes and your smile if you don't know the language; trust that the heart will do its
job. Understand what you do, and don't pretend to follow the rest.
- If the petite boule du beurre a petit dejeuner en terrasse is doux et tout frais, direct from the fermier, take it home. Wrap up the rest and take it home.- Make room for unexpected kisses in the day.- Take time to watch the dance of the prayer flags. Take notice of their 5 o'clock shadows.- Do not lament hours already passed: listen only to the day and what it asks.
- Choose a floor tile color--turquoise, say--that does not need constant sweeping.
- Taste new tastes.
- Know nothing each new day so as to be free to create anything. Let each day be its own creation.
- Play play play play play, even when working. Also when riding the subway train, and in intimate moments with your beloved.- Find, somewhere, live music and go listen--or make your own.
- Clean the windows through which you see the world.
- Receive gifts graciously and be grateful. Truly.
- Don't fret if the Limoges cracks or the Waterford breaks.
- Smile a grateful and forever love to the man who intervenes by standing, when the beggar who accosted you has consequently stepped away.
- Squat to shoot the coquelicot in relief against the Tour Eiffel.
It is really simple after all, you see? There is no need for pressing or forcing or embellishing. There is so much, always everywhere, ready.
What is Your Paris?
Sometimes it takes distance to see.I have been to Paris again. I have just had the distinct joy and privilege of living the first two weeks of this month in the most (a mon avis, in my humble opinion) enchanting, elegant, seductive, captivating city I know. It might've been a month or more, for all that transpired. I could give every nuance, but I am feeling more inclined toward brevity (ha! we'll see about that). Already I have made four tries in one sitting, four attempts at this telling, but each was of the meandering sort; I was getting lost even as I was just setting out. So let me say it simply:Love is alive and well in Paris.
Love's Freeway has been near and dear to my heart since day one. I've treasured every moment spent taking pictures, then subsequently seeing, seeing the Hand of Life moving in perfect sweeps of motion by way of those pictures. Then writing, about or around the pictures, inspired by them or the moments they represent. I have delighted in sharing the images, the writings by way of this column, the book, the cards, the prints, etc., and taken such pleasure in others' enjoyment and appreciation of them. Still, I think it is no exaggeration to say that I've never felt closer to or more enamored of Love's Freeway than I do tonight. I have Paris to thank for that.
After living the first half of the month in Montmartre, I sit here now in Boston a bit disoriented. This "in-between" feeling--not here, not there-- is familiar. I experienced it 20 years ago, after my first trip to France. I was transfixed by that month in Provence, and forced myself back to Paris, and then, the next morning, onto the plane back to Boston. I tried, once back in the U.S., to recreate my French life. I searched for breads, yogurts, cheeses, wines that could hold a candle to what I'd been enjoying all month. I did not succeed. And I am unsuccessful yet again, though this time my attempt was more feeble: I know now that I cannot find here what I have just lived there. It's like trying to get drunk on grape juice, or to get high smoking straw. France is an elixir whose ingredients are simply not available in these United States.
Very little of what now constitutes the greatest substance of my life even existed the last time I set foot on French soil. It is a new version, a new incarnation of my self that returned to Paris this month. Perhaps that is why this time I feel the disorientation so much more distinctly. I am more attuned to Love's Way, and so consequently, I feel bereft, as though ripped and exiled from the arms of my beloved.
"Paris will always be Paris." I've been saying that this week. And "There is only one Paris."
What am I saying really? Couldn't I also say "There is only one Boston, one New York, one Montreal, one Milwaukee"? I could, but I'm not sure it's even true. In fact, there are other places called Paris--one in the state of Maine, for example. But still, I contend there is only one Paris. And since the birth of the context, the creation that is Love's Freeway, I might say it like this:
If Love is a musical chord, then Paris hums--day and night, season upon season, year after year--with the sweet music of that chord. I dare say it has always done so.
I've heard it said that Paris is for lovers. How can it be otherwise, for Love is simply everywhere in the "City of Lights." It is in the artistry of the entrances and underground of the Metro. It is in the sugar cube, the demitasse, the custom wrapped anything that you purchase, from wine to flowers to touristy trinkets. Love rides on the wafts of yeasty sweetness that ribbon daily, as reliably as the clocks and trains, up and down the avenues, from place to coin. It lives in the cheerfulness of every clerk and merchant, as well as in the tall dark handsome stranger who simply stands. Stands and steps forward to interrupt with his motion the harassment of a subway peddler.
It sparkled in the smiles, gestures, and pinky finger of our host, Sylviane, as she narrated the hors d'oeuvres prepared (yes, with Love) by the traiteur for our soiree de la Raclette, pointing delicately as she named each delicious layer in the tiny, clear cups. It moved Anne to make a gift of the special meats and potatoes and cheese--to accept no reimbursement for these.
Right this minute, Love pulses unassumingly from the wall of the little park behind Metro Abbesses. Its message is easy to pass by without notice, it is so quiet. Until one pauses, considers the white script on the deep blue ceramic tiled sea: all those "I love you"s in more languages than I knew we could possibly speak. You will never convince me that it is anything but Love in the ornament and stained glass panels of Sainte Chapelle, in the sculptural masterpieces of Auguste Rodin, in the mosaic swirls upon the altars of Sacre Coeur.
There is no mistaking it: Love is all over Shakespeare and Company, and infects those who pass through. From floorboards, to dry wishing well, to sagging shelves, to vintage typewriters to--not least of all--"The Mirror of Love."
There is Love in the International Terminal at Charles de Gaulle in the white marble of the floor, the people movers, even, I realize now, in the poise of the armed military police ready to defend, to protect. And it's in the fan upon fan of cobblestone of rue after rue after rue. It must be a lost art, I thought, but no. By the Tour Eiffel, I found a road under repair. All the materials were lined up--sand, grey mortar, stones--ready to restore the fans that had been unseated by the work.
What is it if not Love that fuels the daily production of fromagere, boulangere, patissier, charcutier? Not one resented his or her work--not that I could perceive. I saw no weariness of the repetitiveness of their daily task, no boredom. It is possible, yes?, that they are all doing what they love to do. And doing it, with pride and joy, and as though there were not yet another choice traiteur
, fromagerie or boulangerie just around the corner. Is it just that I see what I am looking through? If that were so, I would not taste it. And I did taste it: Love, right there in the thin pastry sheets and the sweet cream of the milles feuilles, and in the crowning lemon twist of the tartelette citron, in the perfect chew of the pain aux noix. But it certainly goes beyond that, beyond what is concocted by the human hand. I tasted Love in the honey, too. The yogurt, cheese, wine, olives, and even the tarragon leaves. That means it's in the soil, no? In the water. Air, earth, sky: how can these be so different in France than in other places? Am I saying that the earth and sky of France is richer in Love?
I think that I am.
And I am not romanticizing. I know there must be impatience in Paris. There must be discontent. Weariness, even. But I did not see it. The beggars beg in soliloquies; the panhandlers panhandle with prideful dignity: I am not kidding. Perhaps this is all a natural consequence of living amidst the many graces of Paris, I don't know. What must it be like to live one's life surrounded by such timeless beauty? Okay, sure: I was walking in Love's embrace from the moment I arrived right through to the moment of my departure, and beyond it. I suppose I sound like a woman in Love; you might attribute all this wonder to that. Well yes: I am a woman in Love, like never before. I am...and I was.
It's tricky, this one. Let me return to the subject of distance and seeing. And to the even longer ago mention of expansion.
In Montmartre, I saw Love having Its way everywhere I turned. I felt it in the lean of my neighbor, across rue Durantin, upon her wrought iron railing, in her momentarily stepping beyond the French windows to see just what there might be to see on the streets below. In Paris, in Montmartre--for some reason in Montmartre--I saw how many ways there are to Love. I saw the bias in my belief that the best way to Love is wide-openly.
I know that what "happened" to me in Paris, what happened to Love through me in Paris, was not about romance. It is actual, tangible--I can feel it, physically, the transition from there to here. I can feel my body, even against my wishes or preference, changing chords. Resuming the Boston tones--especially as I return to the foods of this place, of my American life.
I took my first trip to France in 1988, after concluding for that period my French language studies. It had been impressed well upon me, and I understood: one does not simply speak French; one must be French. I think I just experienced the fact of this at even a deeper level, this month. And I see: being French is more than bearing a Republique Francaise passport, more than an impeccable command of the language, more than a savvy in traditions and postures, and gestures. Do I have a conclusion here? If so, I suppose it is this: no matter the reason, the French know their way with Love better than we of...at least Boston-American culture. Surely this is why I've felt so wrenched from that land when I have had to leave it.
And so--consequently?-- it is at Montmartre that I saw clearly the next expansion for Love's Freeway. I saw that this Freeway exists to inspire. To move Love in the world. And I saw its potential to inspire more broadly. I saw an avenue unexplored for growing into that potential. I am but one voice, one set of eyes, one perspective. I love seeing and sharing my way of seeing. But there are so many other ways of seeing! And so, I am excited to introduce the Freeway Forum, a place for you--for any and all--to share the evidences of Love's Way in your world. What is your Paris, France? What is your Montmartre? What is your gasp du jour? What has opened, arrested, humbled, warmed your heart?
My vision, my dream is that we will hear stories, over time, from every corner of the Globe, each representing a precious facet in the universal, unfathomable, priceless gemstone called Love such that It will sparkle, refract and reflect so brilliantly that we are all radiant with Its light. And I mean radiant. For the time being, I invite you to share, to write via the "Comments" link below, or by e-mail if you prefer. But look for a separate "Forum" link to show up in the sidebar (right) sometime in the near future.
I look forward with great enthusiasm and anticipation to hearing how Love is having Its way with and around you! Please encourage your friends, family, coworkers and colleagues to share too. Be willing to inspire; be ready to be inspired.
And whether you choose to speak or to stay silent in the wings, thank you for your companionship all along the Way.